Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 isn't just another medieval RPG; it's a masterclass in unpredictable absurdity wrapped in brutal realism. Every session throws you into a unique, hilarious whirlwind of events, and these side quests are prime examples. The following tales contain no main storyline spoilers, only the wonderfully bizarre adventures that make this game so charming.
Table of Contents
- Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song
- Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern
- Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog
- Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price
- Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies
- Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out
Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song
Nestled in the charming (and slightly chaotic) town of Želejov, you'll find two incredibly lazy troubadours dreaming of Bohemian musical domination. Their problem? They lack funds, instruments, and frankly, any discernible musical talent. Their artistic direction? Vaguely noble ideals... or maybe pretty women? Who knows!
Henry, ever the helpful soul (or perhaps just a sucker for a bad joke), embarks on a quest to help these musical misfits. This involves stealing a lute (risking arrest and reputation damage), acquiring sheep intestines for new strings (because why not?), and even acting as a personal errand boy for these incredibly ungrateful musicians who refuse to work off their debts. After all this effort, their "reward"? A soul-crushingly boring song about Henry's mundane tasks. The locals cringe, Henry facepalms, and you? You laugh until your sides hurt.
Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern
Remember those lute strings? They require the craftsmanship of a local hunter, Vojtěch, who, unfortunately, is a bit of a lush. He’s found himself in a rather precarious situation—treed by a pack of wolves after a little too much ale. The "logical" path involves rescuing him, saving his horse, and helping him sober up. In return, he becomes a loyal ally. But what if you decide to skip all that and deliver him directly to the nearest tavern?
That's exactly what I did. The ensuing trek through forests and swamps with a grumpy, injured hunter slung over my shoulder was...memorable. His reaction upon arrival at the tavern? Let's just say he wasn't thrilled. Our next encounter was even more rewarding—a spectacular view from behind his shack. Thanks, Vojtěch.
Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog
The Polovtsians are the villains of the story, responsible for unspeakable acts. Finding them causing trouble in a tavern, I was ready for a fight. Instead, I found myself drinking and singing with them. Then, a talking dog showed up and started dispensing life advice. Inspired (or perhaps inebriated), I accepted his challenge to swim across a lake. I survived, mostly thanks to the sheer absurdity of it all.
Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price
After mastering the art of stealth, a single botched heist landed me in hot water. It wasn't the theft itself, but the overlooked details—flashy accessories and lingering smells—that gave me away. The attention to detail in this game is truly remarkable.
Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies
A stolen horse, a sleeping gypsy horse trader, and a runaway steed—this escapade is a testament to the game's commitment to realistic, and hilarious, consequences. Even seemingly simple actions can snowball into unexpected comedic adventures.
Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out
These are just a few examples of the game's unique charm. Every decision, no matter how small, has consequences that ripple through the world in unexpected ways. It's a commitment to realism and immersion that makes every playthrough a unique and unforgettable experience. Bohemia awaits!
